I hate her. Granted, we haven't even been introduced. But she is beautiful, and I hate her for it. We're at a business conference together. Her face is perfect. Large eyes, small nose, high cheek bones. I stare at her. What is it about beautiful people that makes us stare, even if we despise them?
Does she get this all the time? Who stares at her more? Men, with admiration and desire? Or women, with envy?
What's it like from her perspective? She walks in a room, and half the women (the insecure ones, like me) hate her before they even know her name.
How unfair.
It could be something biological. Humans are not merely animals, but sometimes our behavior is similar to the beasts'. Does some part of me, buried deep in my brain, see her as a competitor for a mate? Or, if I'm not quite that savage, as a competitor for the love of a man?
Is it simply that our culture tells me she is more valuable than I am?
Whatever it is, I must fight it. Because she's more than just a pretty face. She's a human being whom God calls me to love. Perhaps if I can see beyond her exterior and get to know her, God will help me love her. If she becomes a person in my mind and not merely a body, I can slay the envious beast that lives in me. The root of the problem is that I don't believe that I am enough. I believe the culture's lie instead of God's truth. God says both she and I have eternal value.
O Lord, help me stop hating her. Instead, help me to hate the lie. And love the truth.
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