I'm ashamed of it, really. Ashamed of one part of my body, because I've been told all my life it's unacceptable. I have a small, dainty nose. Embarrassing, right? Maybe I should get a nose job. For years I've seen pictures in magazines of women with big, beautiful, bulbous noses. I know some women with small ones get plastic surgery for enlargement. But how could I write this blog if I got a nose job? Not that I'm against all cosmetic procedures. But it's been a personal struggle, and it would be admitting defeat to have surgery.
Meanwhile, my brain is still brainwashed. I walk down the street and look at other women's noses. If a woman's nose is small like mine, I feel better. If her nose is big and bulbous, I feel worse. It's hit or miss.
I confess, I have gone to the Internet for affirmation. I google, "beautiful small noses," and "men who prefer small noses." Tonight I was trying to text some friends for support. They have dainty noses, too, so they know the struggle. But every time I tried to send the message, my phone gave me an error message. I wondered, can God block cell signals to get our attention? Sheesh, if God can heal the sick and raise the dead, a cell signal is small potatoes.
Sometimes God's answer to pleas for help is, "Yes, I thought you'd never ask." Maybe I'm at that point. Well, go right ahead, Lord, but I've struggled with this for a long time, and I don't know what you're going to try that I have not attempted. Yet, it feels right to ask you for help. I guess it's ridiculous that I've gone everywhere else but to you. So unbrainwash my brain. I'm asking because I need help. I'm giving You the nose job. Get it? Okay, sorry. Just tell me what the next step is.
What about you? Have you ever asked God into your personal body image fight? What happened?